Section 3 Chapter 10

I am dead now. I was sitting in the Chestnut tree café drinking gin. Whenever I ran out a waiter would come over, and fill my glass up. I would look up at the poster of big brother every once in a while. The war was not going well on the African front. I had grown fatter and pinker. I had plenty of money and a job. Not that I actually worked much at the job. I only went in twice a week. If the Eurasians succeeded in Africa it could be the end of the world as I knew it. I began to think about how two plus two equaled 5. O’Brian was right about the changes in me being forever. I even saw Julia once, but we didn’t have very much to say to each other. We talked about how we had betrayed each other, and then she started to walk away from me. I followed for a few minutes, and then gave up. I thought about a fake memory of when I was a child. I knew it was fake, but it felt real. Suddenly a trumpet blared. We had won a huge victory in Africa driving back the Eurasians. Suddenly something changed in me; I now loved Big Brother completely. Then I was back in the ministry of love. I got shot in the back of the head. That is how I died.

Section 3 Chapter 5

I could tell that room 101 was far underground. I am not sure how I could tell, but I could. They strapped me to a chair. O’Brian told me that what was in room 101 was the worst thing in the world. He said that for me, the worst thing in the world was rats. He said that pain was not enough and that I must suffer the unendurable. He brought the cage with the rats closer to me. He said that once he let the rats out they would come over and start eating parts of me. He said that the mask would come over my face, and that the rats would be able to get at the rest of me. They would be coming soon; I had to do something to make it stop. That was when I yelled for them to do it to Julia, and not to me.

Section 3 Chapter 4

Everything was feeling better. They had given me a bigger cell and food and clean clothed, and a washtub. I was getting stronger and fatter every day. I was not bored or in pain. I just wanted to sit there and feel the absence of pain. That alone was enough. They even gave me cigarettes once. I started doing exercises. At first I was frustrated that I could do almost nothing, but I slowly got stronger, and was able to do more. I had finally agreed to everything the party said. I had given into O’Brian. Everything I believed for the last seven years is wrong. The thought police had followed me all that time. They knew I was against the party practically before I did. I started writing the party slogans on a piece of paper. Suddenly I remembered that I loved Julia. Shoot, I would surely suffer for my lapse of thought. I know that when they shoot me it will be from the back, while I am walking down the hall of somewhere. I will have to be ready to let my hatred out the moment I hear the gunshot. Then O’Brian came in and told me I was going to room 101.

Section 3 Chapter 3

I was back lying in bed with O’Brian talking to me. He said that it was time to start the understanding phase of my journey. He asked me why the party clings to power, I started to tell him that it was for peoples own good, but he cut me off. He said it was for the sake of the power itself. He talked to me about what power actually was. Suddenly I noticed how tired his face looked. He said that the individual was not important, and that it was the power of the party which mattered. He talked about how reality was completely inside the mind. He talked about how the world he was creating was essentially sliding backwards. I said that they would never be able to pull it off forever, but O’Brian said they could. He asked me if I thought I was morally superior, and when I said yes he played the tape of me agreeing to do all those horrible things for the brotherhood. He told me to get off the bed, take off my clothes, and look in the mirror. I looked horrible, I didn’t even recognize myself. I broke down, but O’Brian said I did this to myself. I told him that I had not betrayed Julia, and he agreed

Section 3 Chapter 2

Later I got beat more and more. I had to confess to many broad ranging crimes that every prisoner had to confess to. I got beat many times and often. Finally the beatings winded down, and the questioning started. The questioning consisted of a group of party intellectuals trying to trip me up with questions and run me in circles. Eventually the questions proved too much and I broke down. Once I was broken down they had me confess to many more crimes which I was not guilty of. When I woke up from that I was in a room with O’Brian. I was completely immobilized. Suddenly O’Brian moved his hand and pain erupted all over me. He said it was at 40 and that if I did not answer him satisfactorily he would turn it up to 100. He asked me some questions and I answered them truthfully. Then he asked me how many fingers he was holding up. I kept saying four and he kept shocking me. Finally I said it could be anything he wanted, and he stopped the pain. Then he asked me some more questions and shocked me some more. Finally when I said that I did not know he stopped it. Then he talked to me about why I had been brought to the ministry of love. Then suddenly he did something and there was a hole in my memory. He told me some things and I said I remembered them. Finally a man came and gave me an injection, and I fell asleep.

Section 3 Chapter 1

They took me to the ministry of love, and through me in a cell. I stayed there for a long time. I do not know how long it was, or what time of day it was, because there was no clock and no windows in the ministry of love. Prisoners were led in and out of the cells. Most of the prisoners were common proles headed for forced labor camps. There were a few political prisoners though, who the proles mostly ignored, except for one old lady who seemed to take an interest in me. Then suddenly Parsons was thrown into the cell. He was horrified. He said he had been muttering “down with big brother” in his sleep, and that his daughter had turned him in. Then a horribly emaciated man got thrown into the cell. When the guards came to take him away, they said he was going to room 101. When he heard that he started struggling against them, but they dragged him off anyway. Then O’Brian came in with a guard who knocked me unconscious with a truncheon.

Section 2 Chapter 10

When we woke up the prole woman was singing outside again. Julia went to cook something, but there was no oil in the stove. She said it was strange because she thought she remembered checking to make sure it was full. We stood next to each other looking at the prole woman. I told Julia that she was beautiful. We watched her some more. I told Julia we are the dead. She repeated me. Then a voice behind the painting said “You are the dead” We both jumped. The paining fell down to reveal a telescreen. Then suddenly men in black uniforms came through the window and surrounded us. Mr. Charington seemed to be directing them. I realized he was a member of the thought police.

Section 2 Chapter 9

Last weak was hate weak. Everything was going normally until the sixth day. On the sixth day our enemy changed. Someone was on the stage giving a speech, and then the next moment someone hands him a note. He doesn’t even change his diction; he just keeps on going, but all the sudden he is talking about Eastasia instead of Eurasia. Everyone started yelling that the posters were wrong, and rushed to change them. Just as all the commotion was happening a man stepped up to me and handed me a briefcase. It had Goldstein’s book in it. I couldn’t read it at the time though, because immediately everyone in the Ministry of Truth had to go back to work and change all the literature so that it said Eastasia instead of Eurasia. After six days we finally finished. After that I went to Mr. Charington’s and started reading the book. It had some really fascinating stuff in there, but for the most part, it was just a confirmation of what I had already suspected. Julia came in while I was waiting, and I started reading to her.

Section 2 Chapter 8

We both went to O’Brian’s house. When we arrived, his servant let us in, and led us to him. He was involved with business, but when he was done he turned to talk to us. Suddenly, O’Brian turned off the telescreen! We were both incredulous, but he said that inner party members had the power to do that. I told him all the crimes that we had committed to earn his trust. He told us that his servant, named martin was one with one of us. Martin poured some wine. He then offered a toast to Goldstein, who he said wa our leader. He then told us a little bit about Goldstein. He said that the organization was real, and was called the brotherhood. He said that we would learn hardly anything about the organization, so if we got caught we would not be able to say much about it. He then questioned us on whether we were willing to do a series of things. The only thing we disagreed to was being separated. He told us that they often disguised there members to make them unrecognizable, and that sometimes they even amputated limbs. He told us that we would be fighting in the dark, and would only know a handful of contacts. He told us that we would have to leave soon because they would get suspicious if he left the telescreen off for more than half an hour. He told them that he would send someone to deliver Goldstein’s book to them. Soon after that we left.

Section 2 Chapter 7

I dreamt about my mother tonight. I told Julia about how when I was a amall child, I was a brat, and always demanded more than my fair share of food. One day we got some chocolate, but I took it all, and ran away with it. When I came back, my mother and sister were gone. She said she wasn't surprised because all children were swine. I thought about how the worst thing about the party, was that it made people think that mere feelings were not important. I told her how I thought the proles were human and we were not. I also told her that it might be a good idea for her to get out of this relationship, because it was going to get them both killed. She said she had thought it out and already made her decision and was staying with me. We talked about not betraying each other when we were caught, and tortured in the ministry of love.

Section 2 Chapter 6

it finally came! A sign from O’Brian. I have been waiting for this for years. I was walking down the hallway in the ministry of truth, when O’Brian came up to me. He mentioned Syme, and gave me his address, as well as the name of his servant. This could only be one thing, an invitation to some sort of anti-party organization. I had to memorize them because there was no way that I could carry the slip of paper concealed. I am definitely going to go to his house and find out about this.

Section 2 Chapter 5

Syme got vaporized. Well, I don't actually know that he got vaporized, but he disappeared so it was pretty obvious. Everyone was busy preparing for hate week. The new hate song became very popular. I met with Julia many times during June. I got into better shape and my varicose ulcer went away. I talked with Mr. Charington a lot too. We knew that sooner or later we were going to get caught, but not when. Sometimes though, it seemed as if things would last forever. We talked about ways to sabotage the party, but didn't know how to start. I told her about O’Brian, and how I was pretty sure that he was unorthodox too. I told her about Jones Aaronson and Ruthford, but she didn't seem to understand the significance of it. She seemed to be better at some things than me, but I't did not seem like she had a very good grasp of the broad ideas and issues of the party

Section 2 Chapter 4

Today I went to Mr. Charingtons shop to rent the room above it. It was pretty stupid, because Julia and I were likely to b caught, but we decided to get it anyway because we both really wanted a place that was ours, and where we could be alone. once I was done buying it Julia came in with some stuff hidden in a tool box. There was real sugar, bread, real jam, and milk. There was real coffee and real tea. Julia told me not to look because she had a surprise, so I looked out the window at the woman singing on the street. When she told me to turn around again she had put make up on. Just as we were getting up there was a rat. I scared me so much. God i hate rats. Julia got up and made coffee. The real coffee was a lot better than victory coffee. It turned out Julia knew two more lines to the poem that Mr. Charington taught me.

Section 2 Chapter 3

When she woke up, Julia immediately became businesslike, and explained the route that I should leave by to me. She told me about the next place that we would meet. She said she had to leave, to do something for the junior anti sex league. We met some other times over the next few months, but we had to be very careful no to be discovered. It was hard for us to meet not only because we had to be careful but because we both also had to work so much. I found out a lot about her; that she worked in pornosec, and had her first love affair when she was 16. She was young enough that she did not remember a time before the party, and thought of it as natural. We met one other time that month, in the belfry of a fallen down church. I told her about Katherine , and a camping trip we went on, and how I had almost pushed her off a cliff.

Section 2 Chapter 2

I took the route that Julia had told me to take out to the country. It mainly consisted of a train ride on a train filled with proles. It was pretty uneventful which was good. There were no telescreens out in the country, but there were some concealed microphones. I walked to the place she told me to go, and she met me there. She led me to a place in the wilderness that she said was safe. I told her all the bad things about me, but she said she didn't mind. She told me that she had found the hideout during a community hike. She told me her name was Julia, and that she already knew my name. I told her that I had thought she was a member of the thought police, which made her happy. She shared a piece of real chocolate with me that she had gotten off the black market. She told me that the best way to get away with thoughtcrime was to always participate in patriotic activities. She swore a lot. A bird came out of the trees and started singing. She led me to another place after that. She said she had had affairs with scores of party members, but no members of the inner party. After that we made love

Section 2 Chapter 1

The most unbelievable thing happened to me today. I collided with the dark-haired girl in the hallway, and she slipped the a note! I had to be careful not to let the telescreens see the note. I was able to do it though, and the note said "I love you." And just yesterday I thought she was planning to turn me in. The whole junior anti-sex league and all that must have just been a way for her to disguise herself. After all, who would suspect someone in the junior anti sex league of being a criminal? I tried to meet her at lunch, but I had trouble. One day we completely missed each other. Then next day I had to go sit with Wilsher, who called me over. Finally one day I was able to talk to her in the canteen. At first I was afraid that maybe she ha changed her mind but she had not. We arranged to meet at victory Square at eighteen thirty. There was a large, gathering so we were able to talk, and arrange to meet again in the country side.

Section 1 Chapter 8

Today I went walking in the area where the proles live. It was dangerous to not go to the community center but I risked it. As I was walking a Eurasian missile hit not far from where I was. I went to a drinking shop where an old man was arguing with the bartender. I bought him a drink, hoping to get some information out of him. I tried asking him if the world before big brother was better or worse than it is now. At first it seemed as if he might be helpful, but he kept going off on random memories that didn't have anything to do with the question. I still wanted to find out the answer to my question though. I started to wander aimlessly, and walked unconsciously to the antique shop where I originally bought the diary. While there I bought a paper weight with a very beautiful piece of coral in it. The proprietor also taught me the first few lines to a poem, about a church named saint Clement's. As I was leaving though, disaster struck. The dark haired girl walked past me and saw me. She will surely turn me in. I thought about going after her and killing her, but I was too tired.

Section 1 Chapter 7

I believe that if there is hope it lies in the proles. The proles are not monitored like the outer party, and they make up of 85% of the population. If they revolted they could easily succeed. The problem is that they are not educated or organized enough to revolt. The thought police work hard to sow rumors and disinformation among them. The thought police also eliminated proles who they thought might become dangerous. The problem is that I have no idea what life before the revolution was like. The propaganda obviously says that we live far better now, but it just as obviously cannot be trusted. The problem with the current system is that everything is dreary and uniform. Through my entire life, I have only actually found one concrete piece of evidence that exposes the party's lies. Three of the early leaders of the revolution were convicted of intelligence with the enemy, and other charges. However I found a picture of them in new york, taken on the exact date that they had confessed to being in eurasia. This proved that the confession was false.

Section 1 Chapter 6

I was thinking about the time I went to a prostitute three years ago. Then I started thinking about my wife. We separated ten years ago because there were no children an I did not like her. She was a complete airhead and didn't like sex. She kept on insisting that they do it however, because it was their duty to the party to have children. I started thinking about how the party's goal with regard to sex was to remove all the pleasure. They instilled mental barriers against it in girls from an early age. I wanted to just once break down those barriers, and commit rebellion.

Section 1 Chapter 5

I ate lunch in the canteen. lunch was the usual disgusting grey stew with bread and cheese. I met Syme there, and he asked me if I had any razor blades. I lied that I did not because there was a shortage, and I was hording them for myself. Syme and I sat down at a table to talk. Syme talked about the hanging and how I should have been there. Syme is very orthodox. We also got some gin to drink. I asked him how the dictionary was going, as a way to get off the topic of executions. Syme was working on the new newspeak dictionary, and loved to talk about it. He took the bait, and started talking about how making the new dictionary consisted almost entirely of cutting out old words instead of creating new ones. Syme is going to get vaporized one of these days though, because even though he is completely orthodox he speaks too plainly. After a while, Mr. Parsons joined us. Now there’s someone who will never get vaporized. He apologized for his children attacking me. During lunch there was an obviously false announcement on the telescreen that production had increased by twenty percent this year. I thought about how stupid ugly people are the ones that always seem to do the best in the party.

Section 1 Chapter 4

When I arrived at work today, there were four jobs waiting for me. Three were routine, and I set out to do those first. My job consists of editing, and sometimes completely rewriting newspaper articles to make the party look better. For example, one of my jobs today consisted of changing Big Brothers prediction that the Eurasians would attack North Africa, to one saying the Eurasians would attack India, which was where they actually did attack. My job is the only thing in life that I enjoy. Two more jobs came, but they were easy and I finished them quickly. Then I sat down to the complicated job. It consisted of rewriting an article written by big brothers praising a certain comrade Withers. Withers had apparently fallen out of favor, and they needed a new article. So I made up a completely fictional man named comrade Ogilvy who had died heroically in the war.

Section 1 Chapter 3

I dreamt of my family last night. I don't remember much about my familly, but I feel bad because I seem to remember that my mother and sisters lives were sacrificed for mine. I still miss my mother. I also dreamt of the dark-haired girl. In the dream she ripped off her clothes in one smooth motion. It was more about the motion than her body. The motion seemed to defy all the rules of the party. I exercised this morning while the telescreen gave me directions. I can only recall distant memories of the late fifties. One of my first memories is of an air raid. It’s scary how the party can just say that the past was different and everyone believes it. I got carried away thinking about it and the telescreen yelled at me

Section 1 Chapter 2

Mrs. Parsons came to see me today. When I went to answer the door, I left the diary open on the table because I did not want to smudge the ink. Luckily she didn't notice, but
I will have to be more careful in the future. She came to me because it was blocked, and Mr. Parsons was away. The pipe was easy enough to clear, but I had some trouble with her children. Those children are complete brats. They were in an uproar just because their mother didn't have time to take them to the hanging. What a horrible event for children to want to see. The party turns children against their parents at an early age. Most children would just as soon betray their parents to the thought police if they could find something to betray them for. Manny have. And on top of that they are celebrated as heroes! The party destroys families. The party destroys everything good. Anyway, as I was leaving the boy shot something at the back of my head with a catapult. Later I thought about the dream I
had a long time ago about O’Brian. They reduced the chocolate ration today. I realize that the thought police will get me in the end, but I must stay alive for as long as possible.

Section #1 Chapter #1

I came home at lunch today. Bought an emptydiary and a pen. It was very dangerous as getting caught with them will most likely mean death. Started writing in it as soon as I got home. I am writing for the future. When I started I realized that I wasn't even sure of the date. I wrote about the flick that I saw last night. It got me thinking about the two minute hate this morning. I saw O'brien there today. There was also a dark haired girl there who I really hate because she seems so clean cut